Patricia: I’ve had similar experiences myself and I know how painful and confusing they can be. I’ve found that people have all sorts of reasons and motivations for attempting to keep the “ring of silence” around an adult survivor of childhood abuse intact. Sometimes the source of the mandate to “stop talking about it” is personal, e.g., unresolved childhood material, as you said. Sometimes it is the result of family conditioning, social conditioning, religious prohibition, etc. In some cases, I think it’s just flat-out difficult for a person who’s never had to deal with the effects of abuse firsthand to understand the time and the processes required for healing. None of this makes it any easier for those of us who have to do the work when we’re challenged to “keep it to ourselves.” But knowing that I’ll be challenged and that my own motivations will sometimes be misunderstood, and knowing some of the reasons why it happens, has helped me feel more secure in pursuing the unique path to healing that is right and necessary for me.