poetry, dreams, and the body » loss

staring into black

Rick — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:50:11 +0000

sooner or later
every man must stop fighting
the stars.

sooner or later
his life will run him down
and he will lose
what he holds most dear.

the one thing
that has kept him going
given him reason during the day
and comfort
during the hour of the wolf
will slip from his grasp.

no beacon
no safe harbor
dead-eyed stranger in the mirror
old fool ground down by the days
slack skin staring into black
night after sleepless night
alone and drowning
in the far end of the pool.

(PDF version)

stripped

Rick — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 17:48:43 +0000

stripped
stripped naked
stripped fiery blasted
blast furnace stripped.

stripped down
stripped out
tripped out
tripped over.

tripped over my own hands
tripped over my own feet
stripped down + tripped over
over + over
over + out.

(PDF version)

Trisha Freeman – “a single thought”

Rick — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:23:01 +0000

Here’s a great little piece I discovered last month from poet Trisha Freeman. It stirs up a world of memory and feeling in me every time I read it.

a single thought

a newspaper rustles
a ball bounces
and I think of you
because that’s all I have now
well
have ever had of you
a thought on my brain
you gave me no more
so I left
and here I lay
with another man
in his bed

and it was only a few months ago
you were inside of me
and we talked about having babies

Trisha Freeman

Did you feel it? Bam! A little shot of reality, personal and true. Very tight, not a wasted word, and so real it hurts. This is the kind of poetry I like the best.

still

Rick — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:23:58 +0000

this lazy frozen morning
I watched the leaves falling from the trees
fluttering to the ground in the breeze
like little drunken birds.

I watched the empty branches
sway and wave at me
in the cold blue sky
clear blue and still
like the eyes I still love
eyes I remember
from this life and others
eyes I remember
and won’t see again.

(PDF version)

fused at the wound

Rick — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:58:43 +0000

is it love or is it addiction
why not both
she knows tears + I know anger
together we almost made a whole person for a while
fused at the wound.

but our little house of lies isn’t big enough to hold us now
she won’t stand up for herself + I can’t stand up
for both of us at the same time anymore
so we ride the broken lover’s seesaw of staying + leaving
one foot in + one foot out
we dance in the kitchen like unloved children + wait
for fulfillment of old pain’s expectations.

so anxious to leave
so anxious to be left
so anxious to be right
so anxious to be hurt
so anxious to be disappointed
so anxious to be alone again.

when this whole thing started
I wanted us to be immersed in each other
I wanted us to fix each other
I thought that was what people were supposed to do
I don’t want that anymore
I don’t need that anymore
but I still don’t know
how to love someone I don’t want to fix.

(PDF version | Video version)

learning to breathe

Rick — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:05:47 +0000

I’m learning to breathe again
but it’s painful.

when I breathe I feel
the pressure of my sorrow
the weight of 10,000 uncried tears.

when I breathe I feel
the power of my shame
a jagged chunk of black ice lodged
deep in my throat.

when I breathe I feel
the animal life
animal fear + animal sadness
animal panic + animal loss.

when I breathe I feel
the screws in my chest beginning to loosen
+ the life I’ve known for so long
coming to an end.

(PDF version)